Palmeri declares chair 'uncomfortable'

Often times it's a matter of comfort for Oshkosh Common Councilor Tony Palmeri.

Tuesday was no different for the first-term Council member, as Palmeri boldly stated Tuesday that he was "uncomfortable" with his chair behind the Council table.

"Looking at this chair, I was anticipating that it would satisfy my sitting needs," Palmeri said. "However, after actually taking a seat and examining it further, I must say that I'm uncomfortable with this (chair), so I'll be voting against it."

After it was pointed out to Palmeri that the chair was not a topic of any vote, Paul Esslinger also decided that Palmeri's chair was inappropriate for sitting purposes.

"After listening to Dr. Palmeri's remarks, I agree completely," he said. "That chair is just not something that the citizens of Oshkosh should have to deal with."

The event marked the 872nd time that Palmeri and Esslinger recorded the same vote on an issue.

Mayor Frank Tower, following his usual pattern, had no opinion.

"It's hard to say whether Tony's chair is comfortable or not," Tower said. "I just can't make a decision at this time."

The debate prompted an official vote from the Council, resulting in a 4-3 vote to relieve the chair of its duties. Palmeri, Esslinger, Dennis McHugh and Mayor Tower all voted in favor of the resolution.

Palmeri repeated himself, as usual, on the topic of the chair.

"This chair causes me discomfort," he said for the third time.

Council member Bryan Bain voted against getting rid of the chair.

"I didn't really care one way or the other, but I don't like Tony Palmeri," Bain said. "Anything he supports, I'm 100 percent against."

Deputy Mayor Burk Tower also said something, but no one could understand exactly what it was.

Report: Obama volunteers will continue to annoy

The Winnebago County Democratic Party Friday announced today that although Barack Obama has been elected president, overzealous volunteers will not cease to relentlessly bother Oshkosh residents by lit dropping, canvassing and making tiresome phone calls.

"We really want to make sure that people stay on their toes these next several years," said Democratic county chair Jef Hall. "We won't quit until Obama is re-elected in 2012.

The Obama campaign volunteers in Oshkosh, fueled largely by college students and older social outcasts, were seen diligently knocking on doors during Packers games, making phone calls at dinner time, and ironically wasting hundreds of reams of paper while dropping campaign literature for the environmentally conscious candidate.

According to a recent survey, the campaign’s efforts caused about 25,000 potential voters to stay home on election day, citing pure and utter frustration with the political process.

"I'm an Obama supporter, but seriously, four text messages in one day? How many times do I have to tell you people I'm gonna vote for him?" said one resident.

On a related note, there were no further reports as to why Jef Hall refuses to include a second 'f' in his first name.

Dorm Peeper Named RHD of Clemans Hall

In a surprise move, UW-Oshkosh officials named alleged bathroom peeper Allenn Umentum the new Residence Hall Director of Clemans Hall Thursday.

The post came just days after University Police Chief Mike Melland declared Umentum as "not a threat" to the campus community.

"As I've stated before, the bathroom peeper is no longer a problem here at the university," Melland said. "I consider this issue closed, and wish Mr. Umentum the best of luck at his new job."

Officials from Residence Life, the organization in charge of regulating on-campus housing, said that they were excited to welcome they're new co-worker.

"We decided that Clemens was an optimal place for Allen due to its freshmen-only status," said Taylor Hall Assistant RHD Kellie Ratzke. "It was a perfect fit, since he has experience dealing primarily with younger girls."

Timing was also impeccable, as outgoing Clemans RHD Brian McElroy was recently fired for thinking positively about alcoholic beverages.

"We can't have those kinds of thoughts among our staff," ResLife said in a statement. "It is our personal responsibility to ensure the safety of our residents, and that means simply no alcohol."

As of press time on Friday, Umentum had already molested four female residents. Melland was unavailable for comment.