Guy who thinks it's yesterday makes election predictions

by Dick Parker

Happy Tuesday everyone! Today's an important day in Wisconsin politics, so be sure you exercise your right to vote and head to the polls on this beautiful April 7. Personally, I was going to vote early at city hall, but I just love the feeling of voting at my local precinct, which I will do later today.

As you all know, I spend hours each day examining local politics. That being said, here are my predicitions for today's elections:

STATE SUPREME COURT JUSTICE

Koschnick over Abrahamson

The time has come for Shirley Abrahamson to go. Randy Koschnick is leading in the polls (I think) and this will be a suprise victory for highly-educated beareded men everywhere.

WINNEBAGO COUNTY EXECUTIVE

Jay Schroeder over Mark Harris

Despite his yard signs' clashing green and blue colors, Schroeder's "Win for Winnebago" slogan will dominate, much like Gerald Ford's "Whip Inflation Now" theme. Voters will ultimately decide that it's not important to have a county executive who speaks in complete sentences.

OSHKOSH MAYOR

Frank Tower over Paul Esslinger

Count on Tower to dominate this race, despite his campaign promise of a roundabout in everyone's driveway. In other words, Tower will rise above the competition.

OSHKOSH COMMON COUNCIL

Dick O'Day
John Hinz
Tony Palmeri

This one's a no-brainer. Dick O'Day has an obvious advantage due to voters' leftover high from St. Patrick's Day. John Hinz will breeze through due to the fact that people think he's Gordon Hintz's brother, and Tony Palmeri will sqeak by in third place, narrowly defeating outlier Steve Cummings. Jessica King will be last.

OSHKOSH AREA SCHOOL BOARD

Dennis Kavanaugh
Wayne Traska
John Daggett

The first two are obvious, but the surprise will be John Daggett's long-awaited election into public office. Daggett's election will usher in a new era to the OASB, one with late Wednesday nights due to excessive rambling.

Common Council Rankings -- Election Edition!

by the OshWatch staff

Here it is, the final Oshkosh Common Council rankings before the spring elections.  We collectively got a little teary-eyed as we looked back at the past two years.  It's been a journey -- sidewalks on River Mill, roundabouts, the firing of a city manager.  But, alas, all good things must end.  

And so, we present to you, the last installment of ranking the greatest city council in the history of Oshkosh:

1.  Tony Palmeri

T-7.  Bryan Bain, Frank Tower, Burk Tower, Paul Esslinger, Jessica King, Dennis McHugh.

Man with moderate political views ostracized

Oshkosh resident Scott Bollig has been effectively isolated from the people closest to him after expressing a political opinion consistent with his moderate beliefs.

The controversy began moments after Bollig, 36, indicated mild uncertainty about President Barack Obama’s budget proposal, causing a deep divide between his friends and family.

“I sure hope (Obama’s) plan works out, but I just don’t know,” Bollig reportedly said at approximately 10:42 a.m. Thursday. “I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

Co-worker Mark Wilkinson immediately spread the word around their office about Bollig’s radical Socialist beliefs.

“I never pegged Scott as a liberal,” he said. “The government is taking over our lives, and (Bollig) has the nerve to not have a strong opinion? Wake up, man.”

Denise Marshal, with whom Bollig has met at a local coffee shop every Tuesday night for the past three years to listen to live music, was disgusted to hear about Bollig’s right-wing conservative views.

“I can’t believe Scott would support the same failed policies of the Bush administration,” she said. “We need change in this country, and he's just going to have to accept it.”

Marshal went on to assert that Bollig was “probably racist” and that he needed to admit that global warming is really happening.

Wilkinson, a self-proclaimed conservative, said he would continue to forward Bollig e-mails describing how Franklin D. Roosevelt’s New Deal was really a massive failure until the issue is resolved.

“I wouldn’t say I’m a Democrat or a Republican,” Bollig said. “I pretty much vote for the person with the most realistic plan.”